As I inch out of the bunker, I peak around to see if there was any mutants ready to ambush me. I was about to trip over my beard. No time for shaving in the bunker, no sir, I had to inventory my dry goods, drink my Mexican Firewater and watch my copies of Texas Chainsaw Massacre on beta. Everything sorta looks normal but normal is never good. Normal is boring. Never trust so called normal people! The sun hurts my eyes and the Southern humidity wet wool blanket wraps me up in a hurry like a python squeezing it's prey. It was time to turn my digital device on and see what I missed while I was locked in my bunker. Brady wins another Super Bowl, not surprising. I see that Premier Warlord Donald Trump lost to Delaware Biden. A bunch of Confederates attacks the Capital starting another Civil War that didn't last more than a cup of coffee. Some twisted half Buffalo Man with strange tattoos was doing a strip tease on Nancy Pelosi's desk. That monster needs to be tamed and thrown into the cage with the other aliens in Area 51. Maybe I will just go back in my bunker and watch some Ella Hughes videos. I don't know if it's safe! I do have a gallon of ether! It makes a man go numb, like a brain dead hippie trapped inside the Smithsonian attempting to fly the Spirit of St. Louis out the window to crash into the Washington DC Holiday Day Inn.....
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