Going to keep this blog update at least once a week for now on. Here is a review from a longtime ago by me.
An old review of Return of the TCM!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Return of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Shawn’s Backyard Drive-In!
Have you ever watched a movie and considered it the worst movie of all-time? For me one of those movies is Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre aka The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation. The first time I watched it was in the summer of 97. I watched the movie but I was distracted. Believe it or not I wasn't distracted by Drew talking during the movie or by some trailer park Woodlawn girl but by a swarm of locust! You couldn't even hear yourself think. Southern Arkansas summers are miserable but add a swarm of locust plus Drew to the mix than you have a recipe for disaster! Because of the locusts I missed the brilliance of this film! I have to give Joe Bob Briggs some credit. See, I read his review and I thought good old Joe Bob lost his mind. He is the same man that introduces me to Basket Case. I was thinking one of those editors in the Big D was trying to screw him over or drugged his six pack of Big Red Soda but no, it was his review. So, after eleven years, I decide to give it another shot only because of my respect for Joe Bob.
This movie is a hidden gem. You see, this movie was made right after Dazed and Confused was filmed in Austin. So Matthew McConnaughey and Renee Zellweger took a taxi right across Austin and made this brilliant masterpiece. Kim Henkel who was the co-writer of the original Chainsaw, directs this movie as a direct sequel to the original. I wished I could have used Saw instead of Chainsaw in the last sentence but too many of you dumb-dumbs would think I would be referring to the movie about the guy with cancer who wears a hog hat that likes to put bear traps on peoples heads. Let's get back on track. Kim Henkel made one of the best all-time drive-in movies. In return Matthew McConnaughey and Renee Zellweger got famous and tried to stop the movie from being released. Ok Matthew and Renee, maybe you two should have tried to stop Edtv and Nurse Betty from being released.
The movie takes place on prom night. So the four kiddies have an accident on a backcountry road and they stumble into the Sawyer Family. In turn, Leatherface does his best Liza Minnelli impersonation for Renee because he wants her face to be his new face if you know what I mean. Matthew's character Vilmer Sawyer has this remote control hydraulic gadget on his leg. Hence, Vilmer gets pissed when his batteries for his remote control are not charged. He can crush a human skull with his foot and likes to catch people on fire. Vilmer's brother W.E. Sawyer is continually quoting famous works of literature while he points a shotgun. You also have Rothman, who rides arounds in a limo and he is part of this secret group called the Illuminati. He is like the Ric Flair of the movie since he rides around in a limo. You have a crop duster assassin and a motor home chase as well. So this movie has everything you could possibly want - Girl on a meat hook, great one liners, stuffed people (like a deer head on the wall), Stone Cold Steve Austin's ex-wife playing a cop, three cameos by actors from the original, and pizza. So, you better give this movie another chance. You can connect it to the original but you have to use your noodle.
Best drive-in movie of the 90's!
© 2013 Shawnster the Monster Shawn D Patrick
